So most of you know that my mom passed away 5 1/5 years ago. I miss her everyday, but during special times in my life, I miss her even more than words can say. Being pregnant and having a baby is one of those times when a girl just needs her momma. Whether it be for advise, babysitting, pampering the mother to be, or just a simple hug when you're feeling bad, mom's have a way of making everything all better. I know that my mom is looking down from Heaven and that she is so happy there that she wouldn't dream of coming back. But I am blessed to have had her for the time that I did. Even though I want to be selfish and wish her back here with me, I try to focus on the good times that we had and the WONDERFUL memories that we made.
One of those memories, was my pregnancy with Tyler. She was so supportive through everything. I loved having her by my side. From the moment I told her I was pregnant until the day she left to meet Jesus, she was there for me and Tyler.
Even when I wasn't sure about being pregant and I thought it wasn't the right time for me, God has a perfect plan. I remember praying to God that I wasn't ready for this and I did't think I could do it. But he comforted me during those times. As I was praying one day, the name Alexis Haleigh, just popped in my head. I just KNEW that was God telling me that everything would be ok and that this baby was a girl. I came to terms with the pregnancy and realized that not only was this what I needed, but my mom needed it too. It was something for her to look forward to after her bone marrow transplant. She had a picture of my belly up on the wall of her room at Tulane. I'll never forget that first ultrasound. My mom came to Hattiesburg to be with me when we got our first glimpse at our little angelbaby. However, when the tech told us that Alexis was not a girl, we weren't convinced. We believed with all of our heart that this baby had to be a girl.
However, after numerous ultrasounds, I decided they were probably right and resolved to shopping in the tinee tiny boys section, if you can even call it a section! Mom, wasn't so sure. She insisted that I buy a few pink outfits, just in case the 15 million ultrasounds were wrong. I remember her saying that buying their coming home outfit is so special. And if Tyler was born to be an Alexis, I would have to send someone else to buy "her" dress. So, even though I thought it was a bit silly to spend so much money on a dress for my baby boy, I decided that she was right. I wouldn't want to miss out on bringing my girl home in the dress I choose, so I went ahead and bought "the dress." I had been dreaming of this dress all of my life and it took awhile to find "the perfect one" So, when Tyler was in fact a Tyler, I didn't return it. This dress has survived my apartment fire and hurricane Katrina. But it is still just as pretty and perfect as when I first laid eyes on it! Perhaps the most exciting part of having a girl is being able to bring her home in this dress.
Although my mom didn't pick out the dress, she saw it and loved it just like I did. It somehow makes me feel more connected to her, knowing that she has seen and loved this dress like I did! She even gave me a pink bib for my baby shower. And even though at the time, I thought she was being a tad bit silly, today I am so glad that she did. Now my sweet little Alexis will have a little something from her mawmaw!